cold feetss..

i'm certainly sitting infront of my notebook, feeling cold at my feet.. hahahas! cold feet for the coming ivp this sunday..

i knew i wasnt prepared for this match and not to say get anything out of it, other than meeting my old friends.. haha! i havent been "practising" tkd for a substantial period of time, acumulatively 2 years i guess.. how time flies.. i've already re-applied my indonesia's work permit..!!

i like tkd.. it's probably the onli common topic i have with darling now a days.. it's probably the onli activity that darling and i enjoyed periodically.. but certaintly, i'm no longer as engergetically blood rushing love towards it.. and i always wonder, why would i even partake in tournaments when i havent won any these years.. many credited my "losses" to the "always.national.team.opponent" that i always faced.. though looking at the brighter side, i've tried my best at few matches.. hahaa!

anw, i sincerely thank all friends who supported my defeats and cowardness throughout the years.. hahahaa! please endure, coz more are coming this week.. wahahhahas!!!

friends and relatives asked about my plans for my 21st birthday.. thinking of it.. i thought my living lifestyle had long outgrown the fact that i wasnt "underage".. i felt old recently.. or maybe to rephrase, i felt "grown.up".. handling the amount of stress in the house and workload.. counting my dollars and cents, and ensure sufficient amounts for next sem's school fees deductions.. again i tot, arent all these worries supposed to be part of my parents instead of me? y cant i enjoy or waste life away and smoke my way through uni like many others 21s?

again, im complaining the same old shit over and over again.. hahahaa! bed time.