quarrels

we had a quarrel last night.. kinda big one i guessed.. i was really sad.. i cant express how much sadness within me.. anw, after that.. i felt lighter, happier coz i've said all i wanted to say..

quarrels werent the outcome of overnight frictions.. it was accumulated.. accumulated throughout the years.. some says it's good to have quarrels once a while to strengthen the relationship or to spice it up.. is it really good? haha.. yes, im a person who will forgive, but hard to forget..

i asked, "how many times did i request for chauffer serivces? or how many times did you offer your services to me? and when i request, did i request for ridiculous services, is it that difficult to come to clementi and drive me when after your work at jurong, when we were heading to the same destination - cs.?"
you replied, "it's out of the way. not convenient for me.", "go find a dog bf that will be there for you whenever you need him or find those fantasy ones."

you complaint, "y do u keep wearing the same clothes?"
i replied, "den you buy new ones for me?"
you said, " why must i spend my money on u?"

you said, "you are trying to change for the better by seeking my opinions, but i ignore and dun see the efforts you put in".
i replied, " please teach me how to learn to give u opinions when you have rejected me for the past 4 years.. or please tell me how do i know when are you changing or how long will this change last?. coz i cant be bothered with any of ur decisions or be bothered to give you any opinions anymore. you always made decisions and i will be the last to know."
you said, " you just think abt urself, you're narrow minded, why cant u see that im trying to change?"

you said, "you are so arrogant now, so you having another guy out there? if there's any, tell me now, tell me straight."
i replied, "if there is any, i would have left you long ago.. y am i still wasting my time here."

you said, "i understand that you're working and studying, coming back on sat and wants to acc your sis or family. did i bother you? i just want my gf to be at my place and watch dvd or movie tgt."
i replied, " when i said im tired and dun feel like going to your place, you think i done it on purpose. or how many times did u come over to my place? how many times did u speak to my sisters, or dad?"
you said, "you were always there when there's major dinners"
i responsed, " yeah, so next time if ur family have major dinners, den u call me up."

i was so stressed up in batam, working hard for my dad's dream and my future.. no one understands, except for both Heavenly Father and daddy.. reaching home around 6pm after a long week in batam.. all i wanted was a nice dinner/ food.. you called me up for dinner and i was happy.. we went zhi char, and spent $15 on noodle and prawn paste chicken.. was that so expensive that would make you grumble? well, i just wanted a nice dinner after 6.5 days in batam..

when i sae that you're so stingy on me.. you defended urself saying you already paid for me, paid for avenueQ, paid for everything to please me, but im so hard to please.. you said you cant event afford buying things for yourself coz you only left with around 100bucks a month.. i couldnt believe this. so all ur "Stock" purchasing are fake? or you're just boasting?.. anw, all these are your money and your stuffs.. similarly, i cant be bothered anymore..

you called today and sounded like nothing had happened last night, as usual.. since we both have got nothing to say, den dun say anything..

everyone says, it's ur character to be like this or like that.. character is made up of accumulated consistent behaviours and compromises of others or situational influences.. im tired of telling all these or quarrelling over the same issues over and over again.. similarly, you're equally sick of it.. it's time we conclude all these..